Understanding Our Reactions to Money: How to Overcome Common Money Mindsets
Ever wonder why you just BLEW UP when the subject of money came up?
OR, you wanted to LEAVE THE ROOM AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE?
Perhaps. when money is on the table, you get very emotional.
Where is this coming from!?
It’s coming from your money mindset.
Money is one of the most significant areas of stress AND joy in our lives. Whether we have it, don’t have it, or are uncertain about it, our reactions to money are deeply personal—and often shaped by past experiences, upbringing, and cultural influences. Understanding how we naturally react to money is the first step toward transforming our relationship with it.
In this blog post, we’ll explore several common money mindsets (or "money personalities"), why we react the way we do, and how we can overcome unhelpful financial habits by aligning our attitudes with wisdom and faith.
Let’s do this.
1. Hello, Money Avoider: Running from Financial Responsibility
Who They Are: The Money Avoider tends to ignore or avoid financial matters altogether. They may:
Never check their bank balance
Avoid making a budget, or
Feel overwhelmed at the thought of handling finances.
For them, the idea of dealing with money is stressful, so they would rather not think about it.
Why They Do It:
Fear of failure: Money Avoiders often fear that they’re not good enough at managing money, leading to avoidance. This could stem from past failures or watching others struggle with finances.
Overwhelm: The complexity of finances, from budgeting to investing, can seem daunting. The avoidance is often a coping mechanism to shield themselves from feelings of helplessness or frustration.
Upbringing: If someone grew up in an environment where money was rarely discussed or was a source of TENSION, they may have internalized the idea that money is something to avoid or fear.
How to Overcome It:
Take small steps: Start with something simple, like tracking spending for a month, setting a small budget, or reviewing your bank statement regularly. Gradually, the overwhelming task of managing money will seem more manageable.
Learn about finances: Invest time in understanding personal finance basics. The more knowledge you have, the less scary money will seem.
Involve a trusted person: If you find yourself feeling too stressed, ask a partner, friend, or financial coach to help you manage finances. Having someone to support you can make it less intimidating.
Bible verse for the Money Avoider:
“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
2. Hello, Money Anxious: Worrying About What’s Not There
Who They Are: The Money Anxious person is constantly worried about not having enough money. They may:
Obsess over their bank balance
Worry about bills, or
Panic about future financial instability
Even if they are financially secure, anxiety can still take over, making it difficult to enjoy life or feel at peace.
Why They Do It:
Past experiences: People with financial anxiety may have experienced financial hardship in the past (like growing up in a household with constant money struggles) or have witnessed loved ones go through hard times.
Fear of scarcity: The belief that there will never be enough money leads to constant stress, even when resources are available. It’s a fear-based mindset that assumes the worst.
Cultural influences: In a society that often equates success with financial stability, the fear of “not measuring up” or losing everything can cause an obsessive focus on money.
How to Overcome It:
Trust in God’s provision: From a Biblical perspective, remember Matthew 6:25-34, where Jesus tells us not to worry about our material needs. He promises that God knows our needs and will provide. Shift focus from scarcity to trust in God’s abundance.
Create a financial safety net: Sometimes, anxiety stems from feeling unprepared. Set up an emergency fund or develop a savings plan that offers you peace of mind. Knowing you're prepared can reduce anxiety. Your goal for an emergency fund should be 3-6 months of expenses. Monthly expenses of $5000 = an emergency fund of $15,000-$30,000. When the car suddenly breaks down or a spouse loses their job, you can avoid going into debt until the emergency is resolved.
Practice mindfulness: When anxiety arises, practice grounding techniques such as deep breathing or meditation to help you stay present, reminding yourself that you’re in control of what you can manage.
Bible Verse for the Money Anxious:
“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and you body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6: 25-27
3. Hey there, Money Spender: Finding Joy in Immediate Gratification
Who They Are: The Money Spender seeks immediate pleasure through purchases. They often impulsively buy things they don’t need, driven by the emotional satisfaction that spending brings. These individuals may feel a temporary sense of happiness when they buy something, but it’s often short-lived.
Why They Do It:
Emotional coping: For some, spending money is a way to cope with stress, boredom, or sadness. Shopping may serve as a quick emotional lift or distraction.
Cultural influence: Many people are conditioned by advertising and societal pressures to believe that happiness comes from material possessions.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): If they see others enjoying experiences or buying new items, Money Spenders may feel the urge to keep up with others, even if they can’t afford it.
How to Overcome It:
Set boundaries: Create a budget that allocates specific amounts for discretionary spending. This ensures you’re not overindulging but can still enjoy the occasional treat. As Ramit Sethi says:
“Spend extravagantly on the things you love, and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.”
Evaluate the motive: Before making a purchase, ask yourself, "Am I buying this because I truly need it or because I’m trying to fill an emotional void?" This practice helps curb impulsive purchases. OR, “How will I feel about this purchase tomorrow or in a week?”
Find other ways to cope: If spending is a way to cope with negative emotions, explore other healthier outlets like exercise, meditation, or journaling. I picked up guitar (thanks to SimplyGuitar) to avoid checking my investments daily.
Bible Verse for the Money Spender (keeping it real):
“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” Proverbs 21:5
4. Hi, Money Hoarder: Obsessing Over Saving and Control
Who They Are: The Money Hoarder is overly focused on saving money and may struggle to spend even when it’s necessary. They often have an irrational fear of running out of money, which leads to excessive saving and avoiding necessary expenditures.
Why They Do It:
Fear of scarcity: A deep-rooted fear that there will never be enough leads them to hoard money, often to the point of living frugally or missing out on life experiences.
Past trauma: They may have experienced financial instability or poverty in the past, which influences their present approach to money.
Desire for control: Money Hoarders may feel a sense of control and security when they have a large savings balance, equating money with safety.
How to Overcome It:
Shift the focus to balance: While saving is important, balance it with spending for life’s needs and joys. Build a strategy that includes both financial security and enriching experiences.
Understand the value of money: Money isn’t just for saving—it’s meant to be used for living, serving others, and achieving goals. Reframe your perspective on money as a tool rather than a source of control.
Faith and trust: As with the Money Anxious, trust in God's provision. Remember that God calls us to be good stewards, but also to live with generosity and faith (Matthew 6:19-21).
Bible Verse for the Money Hoarder:
“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers-not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve.” 1 Peter 5:2
5. The Money Planner: Striving for Control and Security
Who They Are: The Money Planner is organized, intentional, and often strives to control every financial aspect of their life. They are usually well-prepared for the future, have a solid savings plan, and budget meticulously. While this mindset can lead to financial stability, it can also cause stress if things don’t go according to plan.
Why They Do It:
Need for security: Money Planners are driven by the desire for financial stability and peace of mind. Having a plan makes them feel in control of their future.
Fear of uncertainty: A strong need for security can lead them to over-prepare and stress about financial decisions, fearing any unplanned changes.
Upbringing or personality traits: Often, people who are Money Planners were taught to be diligent and responsible with money, which is why they tend to overthink every financial decision.
How to Overcome It:
Embrace flexibility: While planning is essential, allow some room for unexpected circumstances. Trust that God can guide you even when things don’t go as planned.
Practice contentment: Remember that no matter how well you plan, life’s uncertainties are out of your control. Focus on living in peace and practicing gratitude for what you have.
Live in the moment: While saving for the future is crucial, don’t forget to enjoy the present. Use your finances to experience life, serve others, and enjoy the blessings you’ve been given.
Bible Verse for the Money Planner:
“Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.” 1 Timothy 6:17-19
Conclusion: Transforming Your Relationship with Money
Our reactions to money are shaped by many factors—our upbringing, past experiences, fears, and desires. Understanding these money mindsets is the first step toward transforming our relationship with finances. By shifting our mindset and focusing on Biblical principles of stewardship, generosity, and trust in God’s provision, we can break free from unhealthy financial behaviours and build a healthier, more balanced approach to money.
Whether you tend to avoid, stress about, or hoard money, remember that God calls us to be wise stewards of the resources He provides. With intention, grace, and faith, we can transform our financial mindset to align with His purpose for our lives.
What is YOUR money mindset?